Militant Islam is to militant atheism as serial killer is to cat lady.
NOT TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN - YOU DON’T GET TO PUT YOUR UN-REASON ON THE SAME SHELF WITH MY REASON.
Gluttony: Reaching the point where you are literally made of food and alcohol
Sloth: Devoting 1/7th of your week to the complete avoidance of any work
Envy: Expecting to be everyone’s one and only God
Pride: Creating a race of ignorent slaves to worship you
Vanity: Making that race in your image
Lust: Impregnating one of those slaves
Wrath: Drowning your slaves because you don’t like them anymore
^^ This is brilliant!!
(Source: the-gallium-knight, via )
Okay, you win. Maybe I do post about atheism too much. Don’t care.
Proposition 1: I base what films I will see in theatres on the scores given to those films on Rotten Tomatoes.
Proposition 2: Rotten Tomatoes gave Fast Five a “Certified Fresh” stamp of approval.
Inference: I will see Fast Five later today in theatres.
Conclusion (later tonight, internal monologue): I probably would’ve been more entertained by throwing the ten dollars I wasted on this film in rolls of pennies out of a moving vehicle at somebody who looks like they would have enjoyed this sorry excuse for a film.
Its kind of sad that so many people think your parents love and respect for you should be severely altered by the career you choose. My Dad loves me...
if i tell you that my cousin will get alcohol for you do you really think its socially acceptable to ask for four handles and a six pack? c’mon
The guy I spoke to on the phone who thought “OkCupid” was pronounced “Occupied”.
DEAR STUPID WORLD,
wanting to have sex regularly, like once a day, doesn’t QUALIFY ME, or ANY other girl for that matter, as a NYMPHOMANIAC.
There’s a special place in hell for people who are mean to customer service employees.
Phone Conversation My Boyfriend Just HadJoel: Hey, man, you have any brown sugar?Justin: Nah, I'm dry right now.Joel: No... We want to make some shortbread.... ...
Help penis stuck in roomba